“Finally, leading up to 33, I finally got it right!”
A Good Husband Makes A Good Wife
Dear Husband,
She wants to let go. It’s finally time to let go. Your wife has seen years of hurt, disappointment and loneliness. But you have cured her. At 33 she can finally be free; free of the toxicity, free of the negativity and free of the low self-esteem. But how did she get there? It’s simple. Six.
There are six people/relationships that put her in that head space. And because she still speaks to three of those six people, names will remain unsaid and details will be minimal. But these six individuals molded your wife into the person she was when you all reunited, over 2 years ago.
Person #1 made her feel like she wasn’t good enough. He made her feel like she wasn’t worthy of him. He cheated on her and talked down to her. This is where her low self-esteem came from.
Person #2 was abusive. He didn’t mean to be, but he couldn’t help himself. His environment contributed to what made him this monster. She couldn’t see past her feelings for him, and she was afraid, so your wife allowed herself to be abused. This is where her self-worth went down the drain.
Person #3 only used her for her body. He tricked her into thinking he was interested in more (he was good with words) but he only seemed to call when he was in “need”. He was a smooth talker and made her feel special. But it wasn’t genuine. This is where trust went out the window.
Person #4 manipulated her for years. He was the master at playing games and he won every time. He made her think she was the bad person and that she was the reason their relationship would never work. He was a finger pointer and he would pick fights for no reason. She wondered if it really was her fault. This is where self-doubt came into play.
Person #5 was verbally abusive. He called your wife every name under the sun. She believed him. She let him define who she was. Did you know that she was told, on more than one occasion, that she was pretty but she would be DOPE if she had a butt? This is where she was reminded that she wasn’t good enough as she was. She had the looks but didn’t have the body so no one would want her.
And Person #6 couldn’t admit to others how he felt. She was good enough to him in private, but in front of others, she was just some chick…a friend. He could never give her all of him. He would show interests in others right in front of her. Even after they were no longer “dating”, she would see the women he would date, and put on display, and wonder what he saw in them that he didn’t see in her. It hurt. This is where she felt the loneliest.
But guess what, Dear Husband? You want to know how she got where she is now? YOU! You came and picked her up when everyone else left her to rot in the worthlessness they made her feel. You told her she was beautiful, and you meant it. You told her you loved her body no matter what, even when she didn’t like her own body, and you meant it. You promised to love her, unconditionally, and you meant it. You stuck up for her, when others would have left her out to dry. You showed her what a REAL MAN looked like, because up until then, she hadn’t seen one. But more importantly, YOU TAUGHT HER TO LET HER GUARD DOWN! Because every. single. guy. before. you. built that wall up so high around her heart, brick-by-brick; all the while tearing her down emotionally, piece-by-piece. When you told her you wanted to get to the bottom of why she was guarded the way she was, she knew you were genuinely interested in HER. She knew you were looking at her heart, and that made a world of difference.
So, for her 33rd birthday, she wants to set these six “men” free. She wants to let them go, out of her mind and heart so that her heart can be full from YOUR love. Those six were a lesson. But the lesson has FINALLY been learned. It’s time to live! And she wouldn’t want to live life with anyone other than you.
“Babe, if it weren’t for you, I don’t know where I would be. I was an emotional wreck when you found me. Instead of adding to the baggage of hurt and pain I felt, you helped heal me. I could never repay you for fixing me, for loving this imperfect person perfectly. I know it was hard for me to open up and expose my authentic self, but you were worth every conversation, every emotional tear I shed as I talked to you about my past and every heartache as I relived the pain these six individuals put me through. There is no doubt in my mind that everything I’ve gone through was preparing me for you. I couldn’t possibly imagine being married to anyone else. No one gets me the way you do. Our marriage is permanent and irreversible. I love you now and forevermore. Thank you for saving me.”
XOXO,
💋Wifey