Here it goes. Here goes nothing. It’s late at night and I have nothing better to do than pour my heart out. These thoughts that run wildly through my head often keep me up at night. All the “what ifs” and “maybe if I woulda done this differently”. Sometimes you can’t help but to wonder. I know everything happens for a reason, but what if the ending of something GREAT was a mistake? Why is it that every time you untangle yourself from a situation that you know is toxic, you crave to go back? Is it because the good outweighed the bad? Or is it because you didn’t fight hard enough to keep what you had alive? What are the next steps when both parties have moved on and they’re in waaaay too deep with their new lives? All pretty relevant questions I’ve asked myself. All questions that have not let me let you go. All of this confusion in my brain for what?
I never speak my mind or open up to how I really felt when things ended. I’ve never lost the love or respect I had for you. I can’t help but check in on you frequently to make sure everything in your corner of the world is well because well, I still care. Some say that if you let something go and it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, let it go, it was never meant to be. But who said we have to follow the status quo? What if I want to go against what so many have “said”? And why have so many said it?! We can’t all simply live the same EXACT experiences! But whatever I feel, whatever the case is, our situation is the way it is for a reason. So while I sit and think of all the possibilities that could have happened between you and me, for now, you will simply be….. The one that got away.
XOXO TJ