Sounds crazy, but…..
I have been having the highest level of baby fever for the past month now. I have never wanted to get pregnant so badly in my life! I think my biological clock is ticking and I am just ready to bear one more little angel; hopefully a girl. In the past I’ve said that the next time I decide I am ready to have more children I wanted to do it when I am married. Attempt to do things the right way. But at this point, I don’t care if I’m married, single, in a relationship or alone. I really just want to have a precious newborn in my arms. I want to feel what it’s like to be pregnant again. I want to watch my body grow and expand. I want to feel the little flutters of the baby kicking in my stomach. I want to smell that newborn smell-the smell of pure innocence and new life. No scars, no history, no troubles. I want to smell its milky breath. I want to feel the bond and connection made when breastfeeding. I want to feel all of the emotions that come along with having a new baby in the home. Some people may say that I am crazy for wanting such things, but I think I was put here on this Earth to take care of and nurture children. I love kids! And even more than that, I love nurturing others. I love the feeling of having another soul or human-being dependent upon me. Watching them grow and hearing them laugh brings a smile to my heart. Plus, I’d like to think I didn’t do too shabby of a job with my first-born. Having my son was possibly the greatest achievement of mine and I wouldn’t take it back for a second! Any emotions or hardships we have had to overcome and endure have been worth it. Everything we have gone through together has made us stronger as a family unit. And now, I want to add a precious baby girl to that unit! When I was pregnant with my son, I prayed every night that I was having a boy. I did not, by any means, want a girl! I knew how I was as a pre-teen and I did NOT want to go through what I put my mother through in my teen years–SORRY MOM! But now that I’ve had a boy and I’ve experienced that, I want to try for a girl. I know that it will happen when it is meant to happen, when God sees fit for it to be a part of my life journey. But I wouldn’t be mad with God if he decided it should happen sooner than later! I’m ready! I’m picking out names, setting money aside, preparing my body, preparing my mind. I am even ready mentally. I’m not going out as much, I’m prepared for the changes it will take on me emotionally, I’m prepared for the long late nights and early mornings. I’m prepared for my body to not be at its norm for an extended period of time. I’m prepared to not feel sexy for a while and for all attention to be geared towards my children. I’m just ready. All that is holding me back is actually having a MAN to produce the other half of this child-hahahahahaha. But I’ve already decided, if by the time I am 35, and finding someone special to share this with and getting pregnant naturally does not work, I want to be inseminated. That is my plan for now. But as I said before, whatever is supposed to happen will happen. I put it in God’s hands. But God…..35 is only 5 years away! So let’s not wait too long! 🙂
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