::CAUTION:: The following post may contain juicy details. If you’re not a fan of TMI, I suggest you stop reading now-LOL.
So, everyone has that one person in their life who no matter how far in distance they are, or how often they do not talk, once they come back in contact with each other, they pick right back up like they never skipped a beat. That’s what you call a great connection between friends/relationships.
It takes a lot for me to get super attached to someone. For me to truly care about someone so much that no matter what they do, I will always forgive them. And that says a lot considering I’m not a very forgiving person. Only a select few people have that type of impact on me.
Yikes! I don’t know why I am so nervous to write this post. Maybe because a lot of these things I have never said out loud. It has taken me 2 days to figure out exactly what I want to say. But, I decided to just let it flow, it comes out more genuine that way. And what do I have to lose? Here goes….
After not talking for what seems like forever, I recently got back in contact with someone who I CANNOT believe I have officially known for 10 YEARS! Wow, it doesn’t seem like it has been that long. I remember the day I met him like it was yesterday. I chuckle just thinking about it. A friend of mine told me to come up to his job because someone he worked with looked like an ex of mine, and he thought I might be interested. I didn’t know what to expect, and I actually went up to their job looking a mess! And I was completely embarrassed when I saw how cute he was. So embarrassing! To me, it seemed like we kind of connected. And from that day on we have been friends ever since.
The connection I have with him is like something I have never experienced before. It’s hard for me to explain. It’s like fireworks. I feel like we are like peanut butter and jelly, we just go together. We fit. Everything is explosive. Our personalities together, our chemistry, our emotions, the physical, the SEXUAL-well, that’s a story all its own. We’ve had conversations on the phone where we’ve talked for hours and hours. You can’t do that with everyone.
Now, I’m not saying everything we have been through has been peachy. I’ve hated him, he’s hated me. There have been times when I have never wanted to talk to him again, and I’m sure I’ve been annoying as hell to him….I have the tendency to do that. But like I said before, there is something about him that is so forgiving. Maybe he just has that charm that works on all the ladies. It definitely worked on me.
The crazy thing is, he was probably the first person I’ve dealt with that was considerably younger than me. I always wanted more with him, but I never felt like I was “good enough”. At one point, I think I may have even loved him, or thought I did. I was too young to know what I really wanted. That was back in my days of not having self-confidence and not realizing my own worth. Nowadays, if you don’t like me for who I am, I could care-less, someone else will. But back then, I thought he’d rather have someone better, nicer, prettier….whatever. But aside from that, he was also a lot of other “firsts” for me. (Here comes the TMI part). The first person who has made me cry in an “intimate” setting (that still cracks me up by the way. I cried like a little bitch). The first person to make me breakfast in bed! The first person that I got to “experiment” a lot of things with, in and out of the bedroom. The first person (of the opposite sex) that I think I smoked with lol. The first person I didn’t mind sharing with friends. The first person I let put me in any type of position-those were the good ol’ days! And the first person I’ve had a pregnancy scare with, which I wish we could have had tons of babies…but everything happens for a reason. And something that no one really knows, not even him: because I wished that I had all his babies, and because I dealt with him before I was with my sons father, when naming my son…..lets just say he may or may not have the same middle name as him. A lot of people think I gave my son that middle name because of my father, which is not a bad gesture, but it wasn’t my first thought.
Wow! I’m spilling a lot on here!
Just had to reminisce about this time in my life where I probably had the most fun I’ve ever had. A lot of the ways I felt may have only been one-sided, but whatever, can’t help how I felt, whether it was reciprocated or not. And like I said, everything happened the way it did for a reason. He was in my life for either a reason, season or lesson. That doesn’t mean that I can’t look back at that time and smile. I miss the loooong conversations on the phone (no one talks on the phone anymore), I miss just randomly hitting him up to see what he was doing, I miss the late night Denny runs hahaha, I miss the overnight trips he would make back home and I’d drop everything just to hang out with him for the night. But mostly I miss that big ass grin with those perfect ass teeth!
So sir, here is your post. I hope I did it justice. I hope you learned something new. I hope we are able to talk more, even with the 3000 miles between us. I hope you appreciate the honesty. I’m done embarrassing myself for now and letting the entire world see my vulnerability. Until next time…..
XOXO
TJ