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Sentimental Sunday: An Open Letter to My Best Friend

Dear Annette,

Hey girl, heeeeeeey!

Wow. It’s been a long time since we first met each other. Things started off rocky because you initially didn’t like me, but I couldn’t imagine life without you in it. We’ve been through so much. We have enough stories to write 3 Best Selling novels! And with everything that we have been through, I wouldn’t change a single detail of our lives together. Our story is something special. You don’t come across too many friends who you can count on for a lifetime. For me, I know I can count on you whenever, wherever, because you have proven that.

Had I not moved in with my Grandmother and started going to Gwynn Park, we would have never solidified such a strong bond. That was the beginning of great things to transpire. You were there as I cried through every broken relationship and heartache. You listened as I talked about my worries and fears. You were there when I found out I was pregnant with Jalen. You comforted me when my Grandfather passed away. You have always given the best advice, even if I didn’t initially listen. Most of all, you never judged me when you very well should have! Have you seen the guys I was once obsessed with? You should have smacked me and asked me what the hell I was thinking! But you didn’t. You let me love who I wanted to love without fault and to me, that was you being a great friend.

I was there to witness you fall in love with your first boyfriend. I was there when you needed someone to vent to about the ups and downs of your first major relationship. I was there to visit you in the hospital when you had your surgeries. I stayed your friend even when you had that loud ass Honda I could hear coming from way down the street, lol. We both had each others back as we got through the tough years of high school, ROTC, Drill Meets and all of the SCANDALOUS things in between. Going into college and even into our young adult years, we kept it strong. The stories from our early to mid twenties….LAWD! All I can say is P.I.C for life! We did things that would make me cringe now! But thinking about it puts a smile on my face, because it was genuine fun. We didn’t have to force our friendship because it came so natural. We are more like sisters than anything else. Your family is my family and my family is yours.

But, with all the good times, there are bound to be bad times. There have been times when you were wrong and didn’t want to admit it (you know how you are). There have been PLENTY of times where I haven’t been the greatest friend (we can both agree on that). However, no matter how I acted or how immature I behaved, my love for you as my sister has never wavered.

There are only two times in our 26 years of friendship where I wish I could have turned back the hands of time and done things a little different.  The first time was when your Father passed away. Although I was there for you mentally and emotionally, I wish I could have been there for you physically. I know that was a rough time for you and the only thing I wanted was to be there to let you cry on my shoulder just like we had with any other heartache in our lives. I don’t know what it’s like to lose a parent. I can’t imagine what you went through. And even though I wasn’t physically there to be by your side, the times that I did talk to you, you kept it together, you were strong and you still held your head high. I admire you for that. And, I can’t believe I am about to say this: I know no one can replace your Father, but I am more than willing to share mine with you….ONLY as a father-figure, and that’s it! (insider).

The second time was on the biggest day of your life; your wedding. God knows I wish I could go back in time and change the fact that I wasn’t by your side on that day. And you have reminded me more than once in the past week how you will never forget that I wasn’t there. There is no excuse I can make to justify not being there. But I have definitely beat myself up about it for almost 2 years and I will continue to do so. And on this public platform, I want to stand vulnerably to sincerely apologize to you for being the worst friend when you needed me the most. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I know nothing will come close to actually being there, but I’m going to try my damnedest. You can best believe I will be there for EVERYTHING from here on out; when you have kids, buying your first house….any and all milestones, because I can’t risk missing another important second of your life. Especially when you’ve been a part of every important second in my life thus far.

What I want you to know more than anything is how much I look up to you and appreciate you for the person that you are. Seeing as though we have watched each other grow up, I have seen you at your worst and your very best. Watching you grow into the woman you are today is admirable. After all that you have been through, you continue to display how faith is what keeps you going. Watching you finish college, start your career in the field you’ve longed to work in, finding true love and not letting anyone or anything deter you from what you want, is inspiring. Your love for life and the way you love others, your family, your friends and Michele is something to take note of. It’s an example of  the purest of hearts. You and Michele are soulmates. Your energy together is magnetic and the love you all share is infectious, to anyone who is around you both. I can only hope to find someone who loves me the way you love her and she loves you. You have really found the one you belong with, deservedly so.

I want to end this by making sure that you know how much I truly love you, Michele and my puppy niece and nephew. Life wouldn’t be worth living without my BoBitch! People don’t understand us and how our friendship works. They never will! But that’s okay because we get each other. You deal with my attitude, my mood swings and how I can sometimes suck as a human being and I deal with your tongue popping, how impatient you are and your short temper. We deal with it because we have seen the growth in each other. We know we are a work in progress, yet we have already come so far. And the cherry on top is that after 5 years of being separated by 3000 miles, we are finally back together, in the same state. Now, we can build on the next 26 years of our lives together as P.I.C.s…….but this time, we have significant others, children and dogs to bring along for the ride.

I love you more than life itself! Words can’t express what our friendship means to me. Thank you for always being supportive with everything I do. From the way I raise my son to the writing I do on this blog, you’ve been my cheerleader. I hope you know that I love you, despite what my actions have shown. Please know that I am older and wiser and learning to be a better friend. I wouldn’t want to call anyone else my best friend. Love you chonkin!!


Tiffy Chonk

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